


Letters to a Dead Boy

by orphan_account



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 11:30:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14810531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Evan feels apologetic, so before confronting the Murphys with the truth, he vents everything in a letter addressed to his dead "friend". He later burns it.





	1. Confession

Dear Connor Murphy,

I'm sorry. I've screwed up big this time.

See, it started when your parents found that letter I wrote to myself, after you died. They thought we were friends, and I took advantage of them.

I told them, "hell yeah! Absolutely! Yes!" And in an act of sheer stupidity, I said that I could show them our (at the time, non-existant) emails. Me and this dude named Jared basically wrote back and forth with these emails, projecting someone who was definitely not you. Or at least, I think so. I didn't really know you. But they took it, ate it up. Now there's this thing called the Connor Project, that basically helps kids struggling with depression. "No one deserves to be forgotten" and relevant shit.

Then there's Alana, who called us-- _me--_  out on the fact that, if the emails show improvement, why did you end up killing yourself? So now I'm off to apologize to your sister and your parents, because I screwed up big time and your sister actually might like me now..or at least, the masquerade I was under.

I'm not sure if you're reading this from heaven or hell or wherever you are, but I just want to say I'm sorry.

 

Love,

Evan Hansen, chronic screwup


	2. Confusion

Dear Connor Murphy,

  
Oh my God. Today was the worst. I really wish you were here, because you're less of a dick than some people, actually.

  
Jared was being normal, until he tried to ask Alana out all of a sudden. That's not bad, that's his choice-- but then she declined, and he asked _Zoe_  out.

  
Yes, your sister.

  
Ugh. I've been trying to do that for like, forever, and now Jared did it in a maximum of five seconds, and he knows I wanted to. I just want to die at this point, because I feel like my life and existence has just been reduced to worthlessness. But I still have to do all these things, like go to school, go home, eat 'healthy' food, exist, that painfully annoying stuff. And yet I'm not sure if that's a solution.

  
I hope God doesn't hate me -- I'll climb higher up in the tree this time, I think.

Love,  
Evan Hansen

 

 

P.S. I'll probably see you soon.


End file.
